I have never really been a girlie girl and not really a lady.
What is funny is that people judge me in a totally different way when they first meet me.
I present myself quite well, I guess.
Still, I wonder what being a real lady means?
Does it mean to have a stick stuck up your bum and look constipated all the time?
Does it mean to look at other women as if a skunk just walked by under your nose and you’re about to share with the world what you have eaten in the last 24 hours?
Does it mean to talk to people with a potato in your mouth and only mention what is considered appropriate conversation?
It might sounds like I cannot behave in public and I am a very inappropriate person and trust me I am not.
I can perfectly blend in and adjust myself to the standard of society and be what people expect me to be.
I am , like everybody else , an onion. Acid, full of layers, stinky and makes you cry??But still give the food flavour…otherwise it would be tasteless????
I am a layered person that needs be peeled off and on the surface, I am acid a bit and maybe a lady (from time to time) but the more you peel the more my real being comes out.
Maybe not like everybody else; it does not take me a very long time to let those layers fall out. I am less guarded to show who I am in a kind of strange way. Believe ME – I am a fridge about feelings but about being silly, funny and don’t care about saying what’s on my mind it’s Vogue issue for me (it comes once a month and I can say “not very appropriate things” once a second).
Good or bad? I’m discovering that with age = it comes wisdom, patience and appreciation for somebody else’s time and the fine art of knowing how to behave in society…
NO!!! Hell no!
With age for me, it comes the fact that I do not really care to conform to what people think I should be or do. It is not only: you like me or you don’t. It is just that this is me after a couple of layers have fallen off and I cannot do anything about it because it’s too damn late.
I cannot be any another way and I don’t even want to. It’s too late to change a tree into a flower or a mushroom into a rabbit or a pizza into a lasagna…you get my point!!!
Life and experiences forged who I am today and honestly… would I want to be somehow different more agreeable? Nicer? More pleasant to be with? Probably I would but HEY… Life kicked me in the teeth too many times and spit on my face once too many times, therefore, I just let myself be. Run free like a horse in the prairie before man tries to tame you down and attach a carriage to your damn back!!!
Life is too short and blah blah blah…
Who does really care? I do not!
I find funny when people tell me that they though I was much more conservative or “lady-like” than I actually am.
It makes me laugh and let me be honest if I can laugh about it so should who meets me and gets to know me better.
I could behave more lady likely and be not silly and inappropriate most of the times but where is the fun in that? That is not who I am and I like to be who I am, at least I accept myself and trust me that it took me a long time to do so.
I am childish, sour sometimes, angry with the unfairness of the world, happy to not give a damn, more like a boy than a girl. so back to the ONION. I make you cry when you peel me.
I do believe that we should just let ourselves be a little more us every day and just sit back and watch the world unfold.
Not try too hard to be and appear and adapt to other’s expectations. In my private life I am just like that…since I am a hypocrite and if I would be like I am home at work… let’s be honest I would not have a job and I would live in a plastic bag.So I am “edited” at work and around old boring co-works, bosses and who else I do not give a damn to get to know…
For those 4 hours a day, that I am at home, I am totally who I am and if I meet people from work out of my working hours…I do not care to show who I am when society and bills do not cut my wings and make me be in a cage. Out of the cage, I am crazy like a bird caught in the wind and wrapped in freedom flying in a wind storm…aka totally nuts….insane.
Are we not all insane at the end??!!