PMS aka (the moment all men would rather be dead than next to a female) PreMenstrual Syndrome.
How to simply explain a monthly tradition in the female body that turns the sweet little princess in a raging evil witch??!!
So here it goes…
Once upon a time, in a very normal day in the life of a sweet young lady, she was feeling happy and fairly satisfied about her daily routine. Wake up – go out – watch the entrainment box (TV) – shower – maybe some physical activity…everything was just fine.
She was cheery about waking up every morning and heading to places, meeting people. She spent eight working hours at a facility full with other people, when it that time of the evening she would head back to her little palace for a nice supper, some entertainment and finally some well deserved rest .
Days went by in our princess’ life and everything was as usual and just fine. She was kind to strangers (from time to time) and pleasing to her prince (from time to time). She loved walking out and enjoying work, colleagues and life in general as it was.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
But one morning…the Bloody Fairy visited her and she woke up in pain. A very annoying pain coming from inside her, it was like her guts were being pulled out and then shoved back in…like someone had a knife inside her and they were playing the knife game with her inside…there was blood everywhere and she just had bought new bed sheets, her mood was changing slowly…and suddenly she realized that she was being overruled by HORMONES (nasty little things annoying her in her head).
There was nothing she could do about it. Hormones had her nice self captured in a dark and gloomy prison…she hated everything and everyone for no apparent reason. Everything was changing around her and she had no power over it.
People’s simple presence in a room would annoy her and she had the urge to buy on ebay a semi-automatic machine gun, some mortars, maybe a Kalasjnikov to eliminate everyone in her path and save oxygen for more useful creatures like frogs or birds. Waiting irritated her, sounds irritated her, odors irritated her.
She was slowly (not that slowly though) transforming into a raging beast with one purpose only: tear everything and everyone apart.
Deep inside she was still our sweet and normal princess but nasty hormones were raising up and controlling her.
Her head was telling her that when people asked her stupid questions (at least to her) she needed to burn them to ashes, if someone would stop her on the road to ask for information she had to treat them badly and even insult them. Friends and family were more insufferable than usual.
The sight of children would bring her to tears (not of joy)…tiny humans seemed to be a waste of space and useless air consumers.
She could not decide on what she wanted for supper (let’s not even go to life goals and expectation in general….that was even worse) and when she finally made a decision she hated it and blamed the world for it.
Everything went wrong…nothing was right…then it was right but not good enough.. then it was good enough but not what she wanted…
Oh boy!! She was a hot mess!!
Her clothes seemed not to fit anymore for some unknown reason and she felt the F word and the U word…(FAT AND UGLY) and the world was to be blamed…media…society…women…men…men and women…She had trouble in deciding what to wear and changed her outfits a thousand times and then back to the first one hating everything she ever bought…EVER!!!
She hated what she liked before and she liked what she hated before…
She became colourblind…everything was either BLACK or WHITE…no greys or pinks…
It was her way or the way to HELL!!!!
She was making choices ruled by our nasty enemies hormones and it seemed crazy to everyone else but to her it was normal and being called out for it made her blood boil at a 398 degrees….not helping the angry issues on those days…
She said A and then B and 2 seconds after B was A …A was B and B was B but she meant actually A…
Hormones made it sound sane in her head but out there into the world it was MADNESS!!!
She was giving in…she could not do anything. Emotions were raising above and they could not be controlled…she was hot and then cold and then sort of happy and then pissed off again…
She had no way out. She tried…maybe not that hard…to control or to hold on to a glimpse of sanity but nothing can beat the nasty hormones. She eventually gave in.
She was a BITCH!!! And there is nothing she could do about it. Take or Leave it. Or get out of her way and pray for mercy!!
She thought she was doomed.
Then after 5 looooooooooooong days (specially for those around her) she was starting to feel better… normal again.
The Bloody Fairy was leaving her… and taking with her nasty hormones…
She was finally free from the curse.
Pfffff!! You would say or think….well…well…
A 28 days cycle later they were back!!!
Yes…this curse would happen to our sweet little princess until she was old and grey and all the bitchness would go away.